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Body dysmorphia

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Animus   United States
Joined 4 years
MartinChap:
Hi everyone,
I just got out of a session with my therapist. I've been talking to her about a fat fetish and trying to get a grip on it. I've always felt extremely conflicted with this fetish, never certain what to do about it - do I gain or lose or try to be muscular?
She was asking me about my confusions, and after some questions, she told me I probably have body dysmorphia.
I was a bit surprised, but I think it makes sense. I've always felt very unhappy with myself. I've known since about the age of 2 I want to be fat, but also felt extremely worried by people's opinions and judgments, notably those of my parents.
When watching films and television, I feel jealous of the men who are fit, tall, and gorgeous. I consider myself good-looking, but I also feel like I'm not good enough. Like I can do better and should feel bad for not being better.
My parents are very mean to fat people. I have some friends who have made it their business to tell me I should work out more so I can be more muscular. Being a very sensitive person, it really is no surprise I've developed this anxiety around my appearance.
My therapist is great and encouraged me to be kind to myself, something I don't tend to do! I'm hoping I can work through this situation and learn to feel more confident.


Glad you’re talking to your therapist about it. It is something I have to bring up to my therapist as well. I’m coming from exactly the same background as yourself. What doesn’t help is that health issues made me lose 20 lbs from my highest weight which was too skinny imo anyway and people are making comments I’m looking sickly. Well, yes, I had some health issues that are under control now and I’m working to put the weight back on. I hope each day gets easier for you.
2 years

Body dysmorphia

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
MartinChap:
Hi everyone,
I just got out of a session with my therapist. I've been talking to her about a fat fetish and trying to get a grip on it. I've always felt extremely conflicted with this fetish, never certain what to do about it - do I gain or lose or try to be muscular?
She was asking me about my confusions, and after some questions, she told me I probably have body dysmorphia.
I was a bit surprised, but I think it makes sense. I've always felt very unhappy with myself. I've known since about the age of 2 I want to be fat, but also felt extremely worried by people's opinions and judgments, notably those of my parents.
When watching films and television, I feel jealous of the men who are fit, tall, and gorgeous. I consider myself good-looking, but I also feel like I'm not good enough. Like I can do better and should feel bad for not being better.
My parents are very mean to fat people. I have some friends who have made it their business to tell me I should work out more so I can be more muscular. Being a very sensitive person, it really is no surprise I've developed this anxiety around my appearance.
My therapist is great and encouraged me to be kind to myself, something I don't tend to do! I'm hoping I can work through this situation and learn to feel more confident.


I am recovering from body dysmorphia. I'm not 100%, but I am soooo much better than I was.

I tend to see myself as smaller than I really am. I used to be underweight, and hated every minute of it. I would *obsess* about my weight to the point that it started to mirror an eating disorder.

The first step to recovery, for me, was weighing myself less. I'd weigh myself some days up to 10 times a day. I scaled it back to once after every meal, then once a day, once a week, and now I weight myself a few times a month now.

I also started to focus more on just enjoying my food and not obsessively trying to eat the most calorie laden thing. (I remember trying to drink oil. All it did was make me feel gross.) I even stopped obsessing over my exercise regime. I worked out as much as I chose to work out and not a rep more. And I only did the workouts that I decided to do.

I'm a lot happier than I used to be. I still have weird thoughts sometimes, but I can ignore them with ease. It took me a few years to get to this point, but if I can do it, so can you.
2 years